A waltz is art not science. It is a gift.
A waltz is a dance or song done in 3/4 musical time which requires letting go of how we typically live our day-to-day lives.
Our digital world – which is all zeros and ones – is a march in 2/2 time. How we live our busy lives is mostly in 4/4 time – one-two-three-four-one-two-three-four – repeat it all day from when you wake up until you go to bed.
But a waltz is different. It requires a leap of faith after each one-two-three. If dancing it, each one-two-three begins on a different foot. If playing a musical instrument, you cannot put the music into a box, it must flow freely.
As a man with two left feet who struggles with the electric slide at weddings – somehow finding myself face-to-face with people – a waltz is one of those things to behold with amazement and appreciation.
A waltz is not limited to music. There are people who are waltzes. They handle every one-two-three with a leap of faith and maintain a flow into the next one-two-three. For the last 22 months, Missy waltzed with her cancer. With every setback of this terrible disease, she would flow onto the other foot and keep moving forward gracefully, smiling and reaching out to others to dance with her. It all came naturally to her and every doctor, nurse, technician, medical office staff, support group person, cancer survivor, friend, family member, and every person she met since December 2017 was uplifted by Missy. They were carried along on the next one-two-three in amazement and appreciation. Their lives would never be the same because they had danced with Missy. Her gift of making everyone else feel they were the only and most important person in the world had left an indelible mark on their hearts.
Missy’s waltz with cancer ended Tuesday morning. She passed away peacefully at home. Until the very end, she continued to be charming, funny and lovely – uplifting everyone who came to visit her in the last few weeks. One of the last things she said as her body was failing her was, “I just want to take care of everyone.” She sure succeeded there.
This summer, with a few good months off of chemo, was a gift for everyone who spent time with Missy. She had a more mellow, thoughtful, appreciative approach to every minute of every day. Never any anger. Never any frustration. She opened herself up to strangers who she could see had struggles worse than hers. She had the uncanny ability to key in on what was troubling someone and let them know that they, too, would be OK.
Missy had made peace with her situation. A month or so ago, we met with Alan, an assistant pastor at our church. She asked if she was praying wrong. He told her there is no wrong way to pray. It can be a simple conversation with God. She asked him what she could do moving forward. What could she do to continue to help others. Alan thought about it and said, “Maybe you can be someone that has God’s light shine through them for others to see.” Missy tilted her head and thought about it for a moment. Then just said “OK.”
An hour later she asked me how was she supposed to do what Alan said to do. I told her, “That’s easy. You’ve been doing that your entire life.” As we went through the next several weeks and she continued to waltz with everyone, I would notice how she could get a smile out of everyone she met, and I would remind her that she was shining God’s light for others to see. I don’t know if reminding of her of that was for her benefit or mine. It all came so naturally to her that the smile on the other face or the burden she lifted off the other person’s shoulders was just a part of everything she did. It was simply the next one-two-three.
Until we meet again, Sweetie. I promise I will take dance lessons, too.
fiercepants.com 
We are grieving with you, Steve, but not without hope. We will see Missy again some day and there will be no more tears or suffering. Praying for you and your family during this time of loss. Please let me know about funeral arrangements.
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Very well said Steve. We will all miss Missy. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.
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When my son was born 18 years ago Missy gave me a beautiful plaque that read. Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. Today is a gift which is why we call it the present.
Missy was the miracle we all prayed for. Her smile, her gripping gaze and her hands on her hips always. She will be missed but never forgotten.
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God bless you and your family Steve. Although we have never met, I feel as though I know you from these posts. Please let me know if there will be a service or memorial and if I can make a contribution in Missy’s name to JDRF or another charity. She will be missed; she was an amazing woman, a loyal and kind friend. EGV
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What a beautiful story. Missy waltzed into my life several years ago, and it will never be the same. She made such a beautiful impact on everyone she touched and I’m forever grateful to be one of those lucky ones. Sending so much love and prayers to Missy’s family…her smile, amazing hugs and passion for life will be forever missed
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Steve, even though we have never met in person I feel like I know you so well. I’ve worked with Missy and have known her since 1998 and I remember all the stories she told me about meeting and falling in love with you. You were the love of her life, pillar of strength and I am so sorry for you, Missy’s family and all the people who loved her dearly. She was a fighter and admired by many for her positive attitude and strength. I am also a cancer survivor and Missy was there for me and I will never forget her beautiful smile, sense of humor and kindness to so many people. She will be missed
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So beautifully written! I didn’t know Missy for very long but I saw so many beautiful things in and through her! I am praying that God will comfort you and the family in this incredible loss.
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So well written and a wonderful tribute to Missy! She was amazing and so kind to everyone she met ! She personally made a necklace for me for a wedding that I attended several years ago . It is one of my favorites and any time I wear it I will think of her ! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers !
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Steve, you have been on my “caregiver” prayer list ever since Missy landed on my “healing” prayer list 22 (or so) months ago. You both have been God’s light shining through incredible darkness and now even death. Thank you for being an inspirational example of grace, grit and love that passes all understanding. God’s peace to you and Missy’s family and friends as you grieve.
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My prayers are with you and your family. I am so very sorry for your loss. Missy was a wonderful woman!
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Dear Steve, This is such a beautifully written entry, her Prince in shining armor, her rock. My prayers continue to be with you and your entire family during this difficult journey. Missy my childhood friend, was an amazing human, a brilliant light and she already came to me in my dreams, and on Wednesday morning as I was having my coffee, I knew she was okay and at Peace. I do wish I could have done more and been there physically.
Know I am here at any hour.
And in the words of one of our favorite musicians Bob Marley
‘3 little birds sit on my door step singing sweets songs of melodies pure & true singing this is my message to you. Singing don’t worry about a thing, cause everything gone be alright’ God Bless xoxoxo
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Absolutely beautiful Steve. You and Missy are in my heart.
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I didn’t know Missy, but she found me in Instagram & commissioned me to make a linen dress for her. (Coincidentally, we found we were both Hollins alums, though we attended at different times.) I gifted her that make in honor of my sister in law, who was also going through cancer. I was honored to make her a second garment: pants I like to call “samurai pants” and I hope and trust she wore them like a warrior.
We lost my sister in law in July, and I am sad to read this post. I wish you and your family love and peace & hope the memories of your wonderful Missy sustain you and lift your spirits.
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Steve, thank you for sharing Missy’s blog with me.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
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Steve, somehow I missed these last 2 posts until now. Missy had been on my mind a lot recently and i texted her yesterday to check in and when I didn’t hear back, i started digging and found out the sad news…she (and you, as her love and her rock) fought a good fight. You both were an inspiration to so many. Missy was the kind of friend where we always just picked up where we left off, no matter the time in between… she was a special person with so many gifts that she shared with others…and you were a wonderful addition to her life!!
May she Rest In Peace, freed from cancer, reconnected with Maxie, and be your very own guardian angel. Keeping you and all her family in my prayers.
xxx
Nancy and Steven
PS. This morning, there was a beautiful cardinal in our garden and all I could think of was that it was Missy telling me she was ok!
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