God is Good

August 10, 2018

GREAT news – doctor decided to scan early due to constant stomach pain and some chest pressure…scans show some tumor shrinkage and no additional spreading in the stomach and lungs are clear. Tumor markers have dropped again and are now at 92! This is all really great news as we are three weeks from our trip to Scottsdale!

The other great news is the kitchen is just about finished and good enough to move home tomorrow! It is bitter sweet in many ways as this has been a very special time with my sissy. This is what they call cancer’s silver lining – these last few months have been very special for Beth and me. We have gotten time together that we NEVER would have gotten on this level. We have always been a close family but living together for more than a week other than vacation hasn’t happened since we were in high school. Beth has literally taken over the role of interior designer, kitchen consultant and mother. She makes decisions on the kitchen choices, picks up and returns damaged items, negotiates with contractors and Home Depot. Daily she makes my meals, does my laundry, nags me to drink water and get up and do this or that! When I feel down she lends an ear and a shoulder and when she feels scared or down we talk about it face to face rather than phone or text. She worries about me and I know it is comforting to have me close by so she can care for me. She has also taken Millie in and has taken care of her feedings and walks…she hates all the hair in the house but she LOVES her Mills. I am blessed beyond my wildest comprehension to have a sister like Beth cause I am not so sure what I would have done without her these last few months.

Speaking of the kitchen – Erika and Dawn along with Beth and of course Steve, all gathered over this last week and took to my house and purged, cleaned, reorganized, purged more and put things back where they belonged, all so that I can move back into a haven not a war zone that it has been the last few months. This is above and beyond the call of friendship this is what you call your people, the ones that will not judge you because you have 4 sets of salad tongs or they don’t know why they have never been invited for tea when you have 20 different teacups that have never seen grace the counter in the 10 years we have known each other. In my defense I did throw a beautiful bridal tea for Emily years ago and broke them out then!

As I sat in yet another doctors appointment I thought to myself God only gives you what you can handle and I am surprised by what I have been handling. Each time I think this can’t get worse something pops up to challenge me! I didn’t know I was this strong and have been surprised by that…don’t get me wrong there are days when I just want to throw in the towel and give up but then I remember there are so many things still left to do but more importantly there are so many people I need to continue loving on and caring for – this just isn’t my time!